And by and by Christopher Robin came to an end of things, and he was silent, and he sat there, looking out over the world, just wishing it wouldn't stop.

**Fair warning: this post is full of emotions and things relating to boobs. If you want to bow out now, you're forgiven.**

So this has been a crazy week for many many many reasons. On top of life changes, we have 3- count 'em 3- birthdays this week! The Lady's birthday was on Tuesday, Mister's birthday was Thursday, and the Munchkin's turns 9months on Friday.

There have been a lot of emotions this week, the one pertaining to my Munchkin's Grand Adventure is a mixture of grief, (albeit unnecessary) shame/disappointment, excitement, relief, and an overall release. It's been in the works for a while now, but I've finally set a date which will inevitably result in an end. I am wrestling with, what in my mind is, the most selfish thing I've ever done: starting Friday, I'm going to wean myself off of breastfeeding. My milk has been decreasing for a lot of reasons (cold, weight loss, it's just time) and it is at a point now, where it just isn't worth hauling my pumping gear everywhere. I'm making less than half of what Munchkin is eating in a day. She quit nursing in December, so I've been exclusively pumping 4x a day for a long time now. I am going to back off to just doing it 2x a day, when I wake up and dinner time (every 12hrs ish). I don't expect that to last long, but I'll do that until it isn't worth what I'm making.

Now, I've learned quickly, that if you haven't done this before, the emotion involved doesn't make much sense. If you have, then you get it and it reminds you of when you had to do it, and the emotions you felt are fresh, even just for a second. Things are going to be so much easier! I won't have to haul that bag around. No more finding empty spots in parking lots to cover up, no more timing a glass of wine or a fun night out, getting to wake up 30minutes later, way fewer bottles to wash... the list goes on........ None of that compares to feeling of failing to provide for your baby. I know, we made it 9months- while I was "working"! That's amazing! I am so proud of myself. I had a goal of making it 6 months and I did it.

I have 1 more box of stashed milk left to spread out, but Munchkin is blowing through it pretty fast. Fortunately, God has blessed us with an incredibly easy going baby and she cares not what type of milk or milk substitute you put in her mouth- as long as it fills her belly. She goes back and forth between different brands of formula and breast milk without a blink. (read: we're getting to use all of our coupons!) I, of course, was so nervous about how to introduce formula into her diet, and she just sucked the bottles down.

So, tomorrow (Friday) is my last day of being on duty. I am so excited about Saturday, but if there's one thing I know- it's that you know God is making you a good Mom when you feel completely hopeless at the job.

Learning about our new toy from Nana. Thanks!